The Only Response I Could Make…

Lai-wah and Kwok-hung

The Motor-Cycle Accident Brought the Shock of Love

　　In June 2011, my husband Kwok-hung and I went on a sightseeing tour in Bali. After getting off the plane, we rented a motorcycle and headed for a fair in the downtown area. I was sitting on the backseat and humming the song “The Most Beautiful True Love” when suddenly my husband lost control of the motorcycle. All I could remember was the feeling of the motorcycle going off-balance. I was unable to react. I heard the sound of glass breaking and my helmet colliding with the ground. I could only see within a short distance because I was being dragged by the motorcycle. The outcome was that we experienced a miracle: Kwok-hung and I only suffered minor injuries and bruises—we had no broken bones or life-threatening injuries despite the extreme danger we experienced. My only explanation is that it must have been God’s almighty power of protection and nothing else.

　　Ever since I came to Christ, again and again I have experienced God’s love; however, this time I was shocked by God’s special love for me shown through the wonderful protection he gave to me and my husband that day. The motorcycle accident made me realize that life is fragile and transient, and can end at any moment.

　　The power of God’s love that I experienced prompted me to renew my commitment to God’s call which had begun a few years prior to the accident.

Fearing to Be a Preacher to Stand in front of Large Crowds

　　During a Praise Concert in 2004, I felt moved to respond to the call and devote myself to full-time ministry. At that time, I had only been a Christian for two years and was working as a social worker in a Christian organization. Because I wanted to be of use to God and was happy to be at a post that served God, my reaction to God’s call was easy. I was willing to serve God full-time in a Christian organization, but I, still would not be a minister in the church. I was afraid to take seminary studies for fear of becoming a preacher having to stand in front of large crowds. As a result, even at the mere mention of seminary studies, I felt like I wanted to run away and hide. Even in my dialogue with God, I avoided the topic of seminary studies and remained insistent that I did not want to be a preacher.

　　In 2006 when Kwok-hung and I were still dating, he shared with me that he had responded to God’s call and was ready to walk on the road of consecration. My reply was, “If God wants you to go, no one can stop you.” I knew I did not want to be a “pastor’s wife” for fear that I would have to face a lot of restrictions. But then, being a pastor’s wife was still better than being a preacher because I could hide in the background without having to stand in the forefront as a preacher has to. A year later, Kwok-hung resigned from his job and began undertaking seminary studies. In the following year, we got married. Despite financial difficulties, we both experienced countless blessings and provisions from God in our preparation for marriage.

Making a Three-Year Covenant with God

　　In the same year Kwok-hung decided to respond to God’s call, I enrolled in a master of social work degree program. I continued to work while furthering my studies on a part-time basis. During that period of time, I had to balance the demands of both work and school. Eventually, I became ill from exhaustion, finding myself weary and stretched to the limit in all aspects: body, heart, and soul. Once again God’s grace came to me and empowered me to finish my studies and graduate with honors in 2010 despite all the difficulties I was experiencing.

　　In these few years, I would need to face God’s call again. I had misunderstood that God called me to be a pastor’s wife, but He called me to be a preacher. After we got married, I could still hear God asking me in my private devotional or in sermon messages at the Sunday service: “Do you truly love me more than these?” (Jn 21:15) The call of God stirred my heart again, but I still felt scared. I knew this time that I could not escape any longer.

　　When I graduated in June 2010, the possibility of seminary studies emerged again. I asked my Heavenly Father, “What can I do for you?” His response was: “To leave your present post that you have worked for several years and go!” I felt frightened because this was a job and a ministry that I liked very much, so how could I let go? I was very worried. After all, where would I go? During that time I read testimonies of seminary students and found affirmation and support from their struggles. I realized that everyone chose seminary studies at different stages in their lives and that God’s preparation for each of them varied. And so I prayed to God, asking Him to give me three years to make the change so that I could leave my present company in good standing with no hard feelings. Meanwhile I prayed to the Heavenly Father, “If you really want me to take seminary studies, please equip me.”

To Be Molded in Two New Leadership Posts

　　Soon after having experienced God’s protection in the motorcycle accident in Bali in 2011, I felt that I had to respond to God’s love. Not long after that, I was invited to be a deacon in my church. However, I thought that I would not be qualified to be a deacon. After confronting myself, I realized that I must submit myself to God’s will, and I was elected to be a deacon. Another sister and I received the same number of votes, but I was eventually elected by ballot. It seems that it was God who picked me to be a church deacon. At the same time, God provided me an opportunity for a promotion at my job, resulting in more responsibilities. Throughout my whole life I had been timid—never feeling comfortable in the spotlight. I never thought that God would lead me to suddenly become a leader—in my church or in my job.

　　In the following year and a half, God was continually molding me in my church ministry and in my job. My new employment status and new identity created many challenges for me. How could I be a deacon and a Christian supervisor following God’s heart? In my new position, God allowed me to see my own inadequacies and taught me to trust in Him. I learned to be patient and not to act recklessly. In the past, I relied on my own strength to face adversity, but I learned to first ask God’s will in everything I did. This is like what Paul said—that there was a thorn in his flesh so that he learned to trust God. I too learned to have hope in God and no longer rely solely on my own intelligence. When I graduated in 2010 I had made a three-year covenant with God and asked God, “If you really want me to take seminary studies, please equip me.” God had indeed listened to my prayer that day and allowed me to be molded in these two posts.

“Do you want God to speak to you word by word…”

　　In April 2012, half a year after I assumed my new position and accompanied by my supervisor, I joined a seminar on youth ministry. In that meeting, all the pastors and ministers present saw the importance of youth ministry, and yet they found it difficult to implement youth ministry in the church. As a social worker with ample experience, the seminar motivated me in particular because I had the precious experience that the others lacked; however, I too was missing something—theological training.

　　As the year was drawing to a close, again my three-year covenant with God came to the forefront of my mind. By 2013 it would be expired, and I felt that it was time for me to fulfill my promise and enroll in theological studies. In March 2013, I joined a camp organized by HKBTS. I was continually asking God for any kind of verification to affirm that I was on the right path. However, in conversation a female professor asked me, “What is the matter with you? Do you want God to speak to you word by word: You must go to take seminary studies, only then that you would go?” She was kindly but forcefully reminding me that I must have confidence in God’s call.

The Only Response That I Could Make …

　　By the end of the camp, I had affirmed God’s call and knew that I should take seminary studies. However, I still felt worried because my parents were not Christians. I had no idea how to explain my decision to them in a way they would understand and support. After my resignation, I decided to tell my mother, however, I was filled with fear. I quickly told her that I had resigned, and she asked me, “Why? Jobs are hard to find these days.” Then she continued, “Are you going to study in the seminary?” I was shocked because I never thought that we would have such a conversation. I quickly answered, “Yes!” She moved on and asked me questions about my financial situation. How could I ever think that things would progress in this way? God had already prepared this for me.

　　I must thank God for His patience. Throughout these difficult years, He offered me verification and at times, admonishment. I revived support from pastors, ministers, my husband, and my family members. I experienced countless blessings from God: His presence, provision, and protection in times of crisis. I know God loves me very much. The only response that I could make was: I was willing to be commissioned by God and to step onto the beautiful path of serving God full-time with a heart of thankful submission.