Five Things That God Let Me See in These Two Years

1. Theology Is Not about Mastering God, but Humbly Knowing Him

　　Prior to starting seminary, I had many questions in my heart and certain expectations regarding churches. I thought that studying theology would enable me to gain more knowledge and better respond to churches’ needs. Looking back on this journey however, I realize that theology was not about fully comprehending God, but rather led me to humbly know him more.

2. The Church Belongs to God

　　The few years leading up to beginning seminary, I was often frustrated by divisions among Christians. I believe justice is important, yet I was puzzled: “Why do we sometimes respond to brothers and sisters who hold different views with hurtful words in the name of justice? As we try to uphold the truth, do we forget to love one another?” These questions troubled me and deepened my fear of conflict and even war. I sometimes wonder if a Third World War would happen in my lifetime.

　　Through studying church history and various theological traditions, I have gradually come to understand that divisions among believers are not new. Even though churches may not be perfect, God is still sovereign, and he keeps his church regardless of human limitations and conflicts. In the past, I only knew in my mind that God was in control; now I genuinely experience peace through his truth. This has even gradually lessened my fear toward the idea of war and conflicts.

3. Sometimes God Responds to My Struggles through Others

　　I was hoping by interacting directly with people whose thoughts are different from mine, that I can better understand their experiences and perspectives. I expected there might be tension, but God prepared for me a group of kind, sincere, and loving classmates. They are one of the blessings I cherish most during my time at the seminary. God’s answer to me was not a set of theories, but a community that cares for one another. He not only taught me in the classroom, but also comforted and cared for me through the acceptance and love I received, and through the good example set by my classmates.

4. Doubts Can Deepen Faith Rather than Destroy It

　　I truly appreciate the space and platform that the seminary provides for us to question and reflect. Doubts are not weaknesses; rather they can serve as a gateway to seeking God. Many people come to seminary with their own perspectives, and I am no exception. The interactions between the seminary’s perspectives, the church’s teachings, and one’s personal experiences bring different challenges for each individual. As I came to understand why I believe and learned to trust God even without having all the answers, my faith actually grew stronger. The seminary could not teach me everything, but it taught me how to keep seeking God.

5. Knowing about God Is Not Equal to Knowing God

　　Theological knowledge is valuable. It helps us read more accurately, think more humbly, and learn from the wisdom of past believers. However, it cannot replace our relationship with God. Without praying, listening, and responding to God through the Holy Spirit, we may end up merely knowing a great deal of information about God without actually knowing him. I have come to realize that sharing the gospel does not depend on acquiring more knowledge and trying to persuade and change others. It is God himself who changes people’s hearts. We must rely on the Holy Spirit to know him more. Likewise, people come to trust the LORD through the Holy Spirit, and not through our own efforts.

　　After graduation, I am eager to devote myself to evangelism, Bible teaching, and church unity. Administrative work is important; a church cannot function without any administration and organization. However, administration itself is not the ultimate mission of the church, but a means to support gospel works. Jesus commanded his disciples: “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations …” (Mt 28:18-20). This mission is not only entrusted to a selected few, to pastors or to those with theological training, but to the entire church. Therefore, theological training for me is not merely about taking on a new position at church, but about helping me respond more effectively to Jesus’ calling, and I hope to help more believers devote their time and gifts to evangelism, teaching the truth, and building up lives.