The Household Codes in the New Testament: Submit to One Another

　　There is a Chinese saying: “A country has its laws, and a family has its rules.” Every country has its own institutions and laws, which ensure the smooth functioning of the nation and safeguard social justice and stability. Citizens have a duty to respect these institutions and abide by the law. Similarly, every family has its own practices and norms, commonly referred to as household codes, that regulate its members’ behavior and help foster good character. Family members have a responsibility to respect these practices and adhere to these norms. Whether in today’s society or in first-century Greco-Roman society, family remains the basic unit of society. Family harmony is conducive to social harmony, stability, and prosperity.

　　The household codes in the New Testament mainly consist of teachings on mutual responsibility and mutual respect between husbands and wives, parents and children, and masters and slaves. In fact, the New Testament does not use the term “household codes” (German: Haustafeln), which originates from Martin Luther’s Small Catechism. While visiting the churches, Luther was surprised to find that common people had little knowledge of even basic Christian doctrines. He therefore compiled a simple and easily understandable catechism to help children and new converts correctly understand the core teachings of Christianity. The content covers the Ten Commandments, the Creed, the Lord’s Prayer, household codes, and more. The household codes explicate the roles and responsibilities of each member of the family as well as members of society.

　　The household codes in the New Testament are primarily found in Colossians 3:18–4:1, Ephesians 5:21–6:9, and 1 Peter 2:13–3:7. Both Colossians and Ephesians discuss relationships within the family—between husbands and wives, parents and children, and masters and slaves—while 1 Peter addresses relationships between rulers and the people, masters and slaves, and husbands and wives, without mentioning the parent-child relationship. Colossians contains the earliest household codes in the New Testament, while Ephesians further elaborates the household codes found in Colossians. This article focuses on the similarities and differences in the household codes found in Colossians and Ephesians.

The Background

　　By the first century, the Greco-Roman world had already established household codes. Aristotle formulated a set of household codes, which he termed “household management” (Greek: oikonomia). These codes covered relationships between husbands and wives, fathers and sons, and masters and slaves, aiming to uphold the rights of those in authority and maintain order and stability within the family and society. Household management at that time was entirely centred on the male head of the household, focusing solely on the wife’s duties to her husband, the children’s duties to their father, and the slaves’ duties to their master. In the Greco-Roman world of the first century, the father of the family (Latin: paterfamilias) held absolute and unquestionable authority within the household, even wielding the power of life and death over his wife, children, and slaves.

　　The household codes in the New Testament are relevant for apologetic, pastoral, and social-transformational purposes. First-century Christians faced significant tension with non-believers and the Roman government for the following reasons: (1) In the Greco-Roman world, different regions and trade guilds (collegia) had their own pagan deities and religious rituals. However, once a person became a Christian, he no longer worshiped these deities or participated in these pagan rituals. Consequently, they were viewed as lacking loyalty to their local community or trade guilds and became alienated from the general population. (2) Some Roman emperors at the time promoted the imperial cult, but Christians worshiped only the one true God and refused to participate. Furthermore, since Christians referred to Jesus Christ as King, they were perceived as being disloyal to the emperor and even suspected of plotting to overthrow the Roman regime.

　　The New Testament’s household codes were intended to demonstrate to society and government that just as the Roman Empire had its own household codes, so did Christians, and Christians, like everyone else, valued order, harmony, and stability in the family and society. The New Testament’s household codes did not seek to subvert the social order, nor did they strive for complete social equality; rather, they were reshaping the male-dominated power structure within traditional families by introducing teachings on mutual responsibility and respect among family members, because Christians believe that they all have a common Master, that is God, and are accountable to Him. The New Testament’s household codes served to transform familial and social relationships gradually.

Prerequisites

　　As one might imagine, it was no easy task to ask a paterfamilias, who was accustomed to wielding absolute authority within his household, to restrain himself or relinquish some of his established power. In fact, whether in the family or society, people in different roles require different levels of authority. The proper exercise of authority is essential. But power often corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Before setting forth the household codes, Ephesians reminds Christians that they have already been given a new identity. In Christ, they are a new creation. Therefore, they must put off their old selves, which belong to their former manner of life, and be renewed in the spirit of their minds, and fully become their new selves, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness (Eph 4:22-23). Furthermore, Christians are a faith community filled with the Holy Spirit (Eph 5:18). With the help of the Holy Spirit, they have the power to live godly lives and put into practice the teachings of the New Testament’s household codes.

　　Before turning to the teachings on household codes, Paul first sets forth a fundamental principle: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Eph 5:21; emphasis added here and throughout). In typical Roman households, only wives submitted to their husbands, children to their fathers, and slaves to their masters. But in Christian households, all members need to respect one another and willingly serve one another. Christians submit to one another not because of social pressure or a desire for praise, but out of reverence for Christ and in the fear of Christ, for Christ is the common Lord of all Christians, and He has set an example of self-sacrifice for believers.

The Contents

　　Although the New Testament’s household codes differ from those of the Greco-Roman world, when outlining the mutual responsibilities of wives and husbands, children and parents, and slaves and masters, they still follow tradition by first addressing the responsibilities of those in subordinate positions—that is, the responsibilities of wives toward their husbands, children toward their parents, and slaves toward their masters before discussing the responsibilities of the head of the household.

Wives and Husbands

　　Regarding the mutual responsibilities of wives and husbands, Colossians contains only two verses: “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them” (Col 3:18-19). Ephesians draws analogies between marriage and the relationship between the church and Christ. Wives are to submit to their husbands, as to Christ the Lord. Just as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands. In addition to outlining a wife’s responsibilities toward her husband, Ephesians also outlines a husband’s responsibilities toward his wife: husbands are to love their wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.

　　While Greco-Roman household codes only emphasized wives’ submission to their husbands, the New Testament also requires husbands’ love for their wives. Ephesians draws on two metaphors to illustrate how husbands should love their wives. Firstly, husbands should love their wives with a self-sacrificing love, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her (5:25). Secondly, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies (5:28). A normal person would never harm his own body; instead, he always nourishes and cherishes it. A husband should cherish his wife with the same care he shows his own body. Once a man and a woman are married, they become one—there is no distinction between “you” and “me”—so loving one’s wife is to love oneself.

　　When Ephesians summarizes the relationship between husbands and wives, it begins by addressing how husbands should treat their wives: “let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband” (5:33). The author may have intended to subtly transform the social values of the time. We often hear the saying, “Men need respect; women need love.” Men long for affirmation and respect, while women need to feel loved and accepted. If a husband receives affirmation and respect from his wife, he will love her more; similarly, if a wife feels loved and accepted by her husband, she will respect him more, creating a positive cycle of interaction. In today’s society, where men and women are equal, both husbands and wives need love and respect, though the degree to which men and women seek these may differ slightly.

Children and Parents

　　Regarding children’s responsibilities toward their parents, Colossians states: “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord” (3:20). It is God’s will that children, especially those who are minors, always heed their parents’ guidance. Regarding obedience to parents, Ephesians adds a qualifying condition: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right” (6:1). Children ought to obey their parents, but after all, ultimately Christ is our Lord. If a parent’s instruction contradicts God’s will, biblical truth, moral standards, or legal requirements, children must not obey. For we must obey God rather than people (Acts 5:29).

　　Furthermore, Ephesians points out that those who honor their parents will be blessed and live long in the land; this is the first commandment with a promise (6:2-3). The first four of the Ten Commandments concern the relationship between people and God, while the remaining six concern relationships among people. The first of the latter—the fifth commandment—is “Honor your father and mother.” This commandment promised that the Israelites who obeyed it would dwell securely and permanently in the beautiful land of Canaan (Ex 20:12). Similarly, believers today, with the help of the Holy Spirit, can keep the commandment to honor their parents and thus enjoy a long life on earth.

　　Regarding parents’ responsibilities toward their children, Colossians teaches: “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged” (3:21). In the past, parents often believed that only strict discipline could raise good children. When children behaved well, parents would simply take pleasure in their hearts without offering affirmation or praise, for fear of “spoiling” them. But when children behaved poorly or failed to meet their parents’ expectations, they would be criticized or rebuked, often causing them to become discouraged and lose heart. Today, however, some parents have shifted to the other extreme, defending their children at every turn and rarely requiring them to fulfill their responsibilities. As a result, their children become self-centred and have difficulty coping with setbacks. Therefore, Ephesians adds: “… but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (6:4b). Parents should not only let their children feel their love but also, in accordance with the Bible’s teachings, help them learn to honor God and love others.

Slaves and Masters

　　Regarding the responsibilities of slaves toward their masters, the teachings in Ephesians (6:5-9) and Colossians (3:22–4:1) are largely the same: slaves are to obey their masters in everything and serve them sincerely. Even when their masters are not watching, they are to perform their work faithfully. Paul urges slaves to serve their masters with the same attitude they serve Christ, and to recognize that by serving their masters in this way, they will receive the inheritance from God as their reward. Slaves must understand that ultimately, it is Christ the Lord whom they are serving. Regarding the responsibilities of masters toward their slaves, both Ephesians and Colossians contain only one verse: masters are to treat their slaves fairly. Ephesians adds, “Stop your threatening” (6:9). Masters should realize that both they and their slaves have the same Master in heaven, and that they are all accountable to Him. Ephesians adds that this Master shows “no partiality” (6:9). Today, we may be masters (such as bosses, employers, or supervisors) or servants (such as employees or subordinates); more often than not, we hold both roles simultaneously, serving as both supervisors and subordinates and as both employees and employers. Therefore, the Bible’s teachings on the mutual responsibilities of slaves and masters are equally applicable to all of us.

Conclusion

　　The New Testament household codes are relevant for apologetic, pastoral, and social-transformational purposes. The formulation of these codes made it clear to the Greco-Roman world of the first century that Christians, too, desired social harmony and stability. While the Greco-Roman household codes concentrated authority in the father of the family, the New Testament household codes emphasize that all members of the household should submit to one another and bear mutual responsibilities. This mutual submission among Christian family members is possible because the Holy Spirit dwells among them, and they know that they all have one common Lord, who shows no partiality. Although the New Testament household codes have their historical context, they remain relevant in today’s world. When Christians today follow the Lord’s commands and cultivate healthy relationships between husbands and wives, parents and children, and masters and servants, they can bear a powerful witness for the Lord and transform the world.