,

牧養主的羊

黃穎琪

道學碩士一年級

        很感恩從小在天主教學校讀書,有機會聆聽聖經故事。我小時候就單純地相信這個世界有一位創造主,也聽過有關耶穌的救贖故事,一直想認識神更多,可是身邊沒有基督徒朋友,沒有太多機會去了解。直到中學,神讓我遇上一位熱心愛主的基督徒老師。他和我分享福音,帶我去教會,最終我在十五歲那年一次佈道會上回轉相信基督,自此開展與神的個人關係,並且有穩定的教會生活。

呼召:牧養多人的生命

         信主後一年多,神藉著一次主日崇拜的信息呼召我成為祂的全職工人。當時講員分享路加福音第五章──耶穌呼召門徒來跟隨祂。耶穌對西門說:「不要怕!從今以後,你要作得人的漁夫了。」(路五10,聖經新譯本)門徒把船攏了岸,就撇下一切,跟隨耶穌。耶穌對彼得的呼召深深觸動我,我清楚知道不單呼召我作祂的門徒,更呼召我成為全時間牧會的傳道人,在這個世代宣講、教導,牧養更多人的生命。記得當年牧者與我這個中學生「陪談」,鼓勵我第一步要認真讀聖經認識神,第二步則要學習在群體中事奉。自此,我立志要認識神更多,也開始承擔教會不同的事奉。

踏上:尋找拯救失喪的人

         中學畢業後,這份感動仍然在我心中。更重要的是,我體會神對我的帶領沒有停止。教會傳道人邀請我參加在香港舉行的第一屆全球華人浸信會青年宣教大會。在營會中,神再次激動我,讓我看見祂對世界的心意。當時我祈禱:「主啊!我盼望在大學裏能更清楚祢對我的呼召和帶領,並祈求有一群信仰上的同行者。」感恩神應允我的禱告。大學期間,神帶領我參與學園傳道會的屬靈運動。那幾年間,我學習禱告,依靠聖靈作見證,建立「倍增門徒」;神又讓我參與不同的本地及海外的短宣活動,擴張我對宣教和事奉的眼光。在回應神的召命與投身我的夢想職業──社工──兩者之間,我發現自己更渴望在這個世代為主尋找、拯救失喪的人,因為神讓我看見大學生心靈的貧乏、脆弱及迷失。畢業後,我加入學園傳道會,踏出全職服侍的第一步。過去幾年我在校園前線服侍,體會神的恩典承托著我這微小的擺上。特別過去三年,神不斷擴張我事奉的疆界。與大專生同行的路上,我堅守無論得時不得時也要作見證,這也挑戰我繼續在基督裏竭力追求成長。

進深:接受神學裝備

         2022年,踏入全職服侍第六年,我看見神一步一步預備我成為這個時代的傳道者。過去三年,這個世代充滿轉變,神藉著不同的經歷催迫我要進入神學進修的階段。第一,2020年8月我報讀了「浸神」基督教研究文學碩士課程,晚間進修,初嘗神學生的學習模式。過程中我認識了來自不同教會的弟兄姊妹,並更有系統地研讀神的話語,又學習怎樣在生活中踐行信仰,這一切對我的生命有很大的幫助。第二,2021年10月,我參與「浸神」實體舉行的全職事奉探索日營。黑色暴雨之下,我來到西澳校園;經過一段尋求神的時間,我再次確定「作教會傳道人」的呼召是出於神──我驚覺「牧養生命」的呼召一直在我心中。第三,自己教會傳道人的離開,讓我更多看見教會牧養的需要。約有一年時間,我有分參與教會的主日學和講道的服侍,神好像藉這機會給我預先「實習」一樣。事奉年日越久越察覺自己不足,就更深體會神的僕人需要接受有系統、更全面的神學裝備,預備好自己隨時供上主使用。

         平衡自己在校園與教會之間的服侍時,內心總有一份不滿足,因為時間有限,我不自覺地取捨了許多與人同行、造就生命的機會,而建立教會的心志卻常常在我心裏。我體會神這一刻正帶領我成為教會的牧者。盼望我在這混亂的世代成為一位忠於聖言的牧者,牧養主的羊,培育更多人成為真實跟隨主的門徒。

        Thankfully, I had studied in a Catholic School since childhood, which gave me the opportunity to listen to Bible stories. When I was a child, I had a simple faith that there is a Creator God in this world. I had also heard stories about Jesus’ salvation, which made me desire to know more about God. Unfortunately, I did not have any Christian friends and so I lacked the chance to understand Him better in my personal life. It was not until I became a secondary school student that God led me to a devoted Christian teacher, who shared the gospel and went to church with me. Finally, I was converted at a gospel rally and became a Christian at the age of 15, and began developing my personal relationship with God and stable church life.

The Calling: Shepherd the Lives of Many

        One year or so after I became a Christian, God called me to become a full-time servant of His through a message during a Sunday service. At that time, the speaker talked about Jesus’ calling people to follow Him as disciples in Luke 5. Jesus said to Simon, “Don’t be afraid; from now on you will fish for people” (Lk 5:10). The people pulled their boats up on shore, left everything, and followed Jesus. Jesus’ calling of Peter touched me deeply. Clearly, I knew God not only called me to be His disciple but also to become a full-time pastor ministering to a church and shepherding the lives of more people by proclaiming God’s Word and teaching about Him in this time and age. I still remember that when the pastor “counseled” me, who was just a secondary school student, he encouraged me to know God by reading the Bible seriously and learning to serve in a church community. I then became determined to know God better and began to take up different roles at the church to serve God.

Stepping Forward: Seek and Save the Lost Ones

        After graduating from secondary school, the calling still lingered in my heart. More importantly, I experienced God’s unceasing guidance on me. Our church minister invited me to join the first Trans-World Chinese Baptist Youth Mission Conference held in Hong Kong. During the Conference, God encouraged me again by showing me His will toward the world. At that time, I prayed, “Lord! I hope I can see your calling and guidance more clearly in the university and that I have a group of companions walking with me in faith.” Thank God for answering my prayer. At the university, under His guidance, I joined the spiritual movements organized by the Hong Kong Campus Crusade for Christ. During the few years, I learned how to pray, how to be a witness for God by leaning on the Holy Spirit, and how to nurture “multiplying disciples”; God also let me take part in various local and overseas mission trips, which broadened my vision about missionary work and serving God. Torn between responding to God’s vocation and taking up social work as my dream job, I realized that I had a stronger yearning for seeking and saving the lost ones for God in this time and age as God let me see the poverty, fragility, and loss of direction in the souls of university students. Upon graduation, I joined the Hong Kong Campus Crusade for Christ, which was the first step I took toward a full-time ministry. In the past few years, I served on the frontline on campuses and experienced God’s grace in support of the trivial service I offered. In particular, God kept expanding the territory of my service in the past three years. On the path of walking with tertiary students, I insisted on witnessing God, in season and out of season, which also challenged me to continue with all my effort to seek growth through Christ.

Going Deeper: Get Equipped with Theological Training

        In 2022, the sixth year of my full-time ministry, I realized that God was preparing me, step by step, to become an evangelist for these times. The past three years have been filled with changes. God urged me to enter theological studies by means of various experiences. First, I studied an evening program for the Master of Arts in Christian Studies at HKBTS in August 2020. This gave me a first taste of the lives of theological students. During the process, I came to know brothers and sisters from different churches and studied God’s Word more systemically. I also learned how to put my faith into practice in my life. All these were very beneficial to my life. Second, in October 2021, I joined in person the Full-time Ministry Experiential Day Camp organized by HKBTS. I arrived at the Sai O Campus even under the Black Rainstorm Warning. After some time of seeking God, I became reaffirmed that the calling to become a church minister came from God—all of a sudden, I realized the calling of shepherding lives had always been there in my heart. Third, the departure of the minister in my own church made me see more of the church’s pastoral needs. For about a year, I had been helping the church by serving in the Sunday School and giving sermons. God seemed to be using these experiences as my “internship.” The more time I spent on serving God, the more I realized my own inadequacies and the need for God’s servants to receive systematic and comprehensive training in theology so that they may be prepared to be used by the Lord any time.

        While trying to balance my service on the campuses and at the church, I lacked contentment. Because time was limited, I had unknowingly let go of many opportunities to walk with people and build up others’ lives. Yet, the determination to build up the church persisted in my heart. I understand that God is guiding me to become a church minister at this moment. I hope that I will become a pastor who is faithful to the Holy Word during this chaotic era and shepherds His sheep and brings up more people to become disciples who follow the Lord truly.

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