How Do I Know God’s Will for My Life?

　　Discovering God’s will in our personal lives is a concern for many Christians. In this essay I would like to discuss an approach called “The Way of Wisdom” proposed by Garry Friesen in his book, Decision Making and the Will of God.^† The following is an integration of some of his ideas with my understanding of Scripture. Interested readers should consult his book for more details.

What Is the Meaning of God’s Will?

　　To begin with, what is the meaning of God’s will? There are three possible answers to this question: 1) God’s sovereign will. This refers to his plan for everything that happens in the universe. For example, salvation history is part of God’s sovereign will for humanity. 2) God’s moral will. This refers to God’s commands in the Bible and how humans ought to believe and live their lives. In most instances in the Bible, the will of God refers to his moral will. 3) God’s individual will for each person. This is something we cannot know from reading the Bible alone.

“Dot” Theory

　　The third meaning is what most Christians mean when they say that they want to know God’s will for their lives. According to the traditional view, the correct decision is a “dot,” i.e., only one choice is the correct choice. If we miss that opportunity to follow God’s will, then we have missed out on God’s ideal path for our lives. For example, if Abraham did not go from Haran to Canaan he would have missed God’s perfect will for his life. What this means today is that if we do not marry “the One” or choose a “wrong” career, we have missed God’s wonderful plan for our lives.

　　There are a number of problems with this view. Firstly, even in the Bible only a few people are called to follow God’s will according to this meaning of the term. For example, there were many godly people in the days of Isaiah, Jeremiah and Ezekiel but only these men were called to be prophets. Therefore, we should be wary about generalizing their experience for all believers. Secondly, even for those who were specifically called, there is no evidence that every aspect of their lives was regulated by God’s commands. As far as we know, God only gave them specific commands that were related to their ministries. For example, God did not give Abraham directions about how to get from Haran to Canaan nor did he tell Joshua whom to marry.

　　On a more practical level, nobody follows the so-called “Dot” theory for ordinary, everyday decisions. We will give up after a few hours if we have to find out God’s will about what to eat for our lunch, what to wear for work, or whether we should bring an umbrella with us when we go out, each time, all the time! Furthermore, in many of these decisions it is almost impossible to argue that one decision is God’s will rather than another. For example, could we sincerely believe that eating chicken rice rather than pizza is God’s will for lunch? More seriously, it may permit immature believers to justify unwise decisions on the grounds that “God told me to do it.” This is the nuclear bomb of spiritual rationalization; all objections are annihilated before this declaration. Similarly, some believers may let circumstances or chance dictate their decision on the grounds that they are “putting out a fleece” (Jgs 6:36-40). Instead of taking responsibility for their own decisions, this allows some to hide behind the invisibility cloak of circumstance.

God’s Moral Will

　　According to Friesen, God’s moral will should be our first consideration. If something is prohibited in the Bible, it is not an option. He uses Genesis 2:16-17 as an illustration. In this passage all the fruits of the Garden of Eden were available to Adam and Eve. Only the fruits of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil were prohibited. Adam and Eve did not have to worry about whether eating apple, orange, or fig was God’s will. According to him, the “Dot” theory reverses the picture so that all the fruits were prohibited except for one. What Friesen’s theory means in practice is that we have a choice in whom to marry but having sex outside of marriage is not an option.

　　So what if the decision involves non-moral choices? The choice is no longer between right or wrong but good or bad decision. In these cases Christians are supposed to exercise their God given wisdom. Scriptural support for this includes Romans 14:5 which says, “One person esteems one day as better than another, while another esteems all days alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind” and 1 Corinthians 7:40 which says, “Yet in my judgment she is happier if she remains as she is. And I think that I too have the Spirit of God.” ^* In the Old Testament, the corpus of Wisdom Literature teaches a person to differentiate between good and bad choices, many of which are non-moral choices (Prv 10:4-5; 11:2, 15).

God’s Sovereign Will

　　What about the sovereign will of God? What role does it have in this approach to the will of God? According to Friesen, God’s sovereign will does not exclude the need for planning; it just means that we have to submit to his will humbly. Circumstance should not be equated with God’s will; it is merely the context of the decision and it must be weighed with wisdom. For example, if the building I am in is on fire, I should not take it to mean that it is God’s will for me to die. Wisdom tells me I should get out and live for God. Friesen gives scriptural examples of an open door that was taken (1Cor 16:8-9), prayer for an open door (Col 4:3), and an open door that was not taken (2Cor 2:12-13). His point is that not all open doors (i.e., available choices) should be considered God’s will. In general, the sovereign will of God is not something we can discern or discern clearly at any given time. Therefore, making a personal decision on the basis that it is the sovereign will of God is not wise.

“The Way of Wisdom” in Practice

　　How do all these work out in practice? The first thing to do is, of course, to make sure that our decision is not against the teachings of the Bible. Note that this is different from, for example, believers who claim that God is leading them to Thailand to be missionaries based on their reading of Abraham’s call (Gn 12:1-3). This is a personal experience between the believer and God mediated via the Bible. It cannot be made into a principle that all believers should follow. What we are talking about are Biblical teachings that should be followed by all believers.

　　There is a role for circumstances in our pursuit of God’s will, of course. God’s opening or closing of a door could be significant. Incidentally, Gideon was not seeking God’s will when he put out the fleece. By that time he was very certain about what God wanted him to do. He put out the fleece because his faith was weak and he was afraid. According to Friesen, it should be used infrequently and only for more important decisions. Furthermore, select a sign that is clear, definite, and somewhat uncommon (i.e., where there is not a 50% chance of it happening).

　　The inner witness of the Holy Spirit is also important, i.e., whether we have inner peace with a certain decision. I wish to caution that this is a subjective feeling and should not be the main reason for a decision. I’ve known quite a number of believers who struggle with whether or not to break up with their boy or girl friend. Once the decision is made to break up, most tell me that they feel a sense of peace. I think their sense of peace comes from having made the decision itself. Also, there must have been conflicts prior to the consideration to break up. Thus, breaking up means the end of the conflicts. I think these factors, more than simply following the will of God, explain their sense of peace. Nevertheless, coupled with prayer (and perhaps fasting) a sense of peace could be an indication of God’s leading.

　　Seeking the counsel of mature Christians who know us and care for us is also very helpful. According to the way of wisdom, we need to exercise wisdom in making decisions. However, we may not have the required wisdom or experience to make the correct decision in a matter we have not encountered before. Furthermore, we may be too caught up in the spirit of the moment or unable to view the issue from a different perspective. Getting a second opinion or perspective from older, wiser Christians can be enlightening. It could confirm what we want or caution us against our decision.

　　Our personal desire should not be ignored either. We should avoid the two extremes of pandering to our desire or denying it altogether. I have known seminary students who think that God has called them exactly because they do not want to serve the LORD full-time. This is bad theology. God does not want us to suffer unnecessarily. The other extreme is also wrong. In my experience, many people want to know God’s will because they think that following God’s will brings happiness and success. The proof of following God’s will, then, is happiness and success. If so, we will have a tendency to base our decision on what makes us happy or successful. However, this is skewed thinking. Jesus and many believers suffered exactly because they were following God’s will. We should not think that following God’s will would necessarily bring happiness. On the contrary, it may bring us a lot of suffering.

　　The way of wisdom also emphasizes common sense. As Friesen says, God gives us common sense to use so we should not ignore it. This should not be a problem except that many Christians identify common sense with lack of faith. One of the great things about faith in Christ is that it empowers believers to move beyond their comfort zone, to reach heights they would normally not dare to dream about. On the flip side, it also encourages some believers to indulge in wishful thinking that defies common sense. What separates wishful thinking from genuine faith? According to my understanding, faith is when we step out boldly to do what God has commanded us to do. This is certainly true when it concerns obeying biblical teachings (e.g., to fulfill the Great Commission, to fight for justice for the oppressed). Wishful thinking is when we indulge our own personal desires beyond common sense reasoning. Jesus has indeed said, “Ask, and it shall be given to you” (Mt 7:7) but that does not mean that everything we ask for is God’s will or that we will get it. God will not give us stone if we ask for bread (Mt 7:9); conversely, it also means that if we ask for stone, he will only give us bread. He will give us what is good for us rather than just what we want, or nothing at all.

　　Finally, the way of wisdom does not rule out supernatural guidance like an audible voice, angel, vision, dream, prophecy, or miracle. These are all found in the Bible and were ways that God communicated with his people. Nevertheless, these were not common even in Biblical times. Otherwise people would not be so astonished and awestruck when they happened. Therefore, we should not expect them to be common today. Even when we think we have contacted with the spiritual realm we should be careful. This is because not all spirits are from the LORD. It is our duty to test every spirit to see whether they are from the LORD or not (1Jn 4:1-3).

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^† Garry Friesen, with J. Robin Maxson, Decision Making & the Will of God, revised and updated edition (Portland: Multnomah, 2004).
^* All Scripture quotations are taken from the ESV.