The End Becomes the Beginning

Two Kinds of the End

　　I was born into a poor family and as such my parents had to work hard outside all day long. As the eldest child, even still young, I had to shoulder the responsibilities of taking care of my three younger brothers and sisters along with my sickly grandmother. I silently accepted being the “leader,” but found that the burden was very heavy and the future seemed gloomy. During high school, I came to Christ at a gospel camp and began to grow in the church, doing away with the melancholic sadness of my teenage years and receiving abundant grace granted by God. In retrospect, I am truly grateful to my high school teachers and the mentors at church for their concern and help.

　　When I began to work, I first worked and labored in the commercial sector and then served in a para-church organization and my church. While working in a commercial company, I was extremely busy and did not put God first. In 2003, I went to Choi Ping Baptist Church and God’s word repeatedly encouraged and helped me to once again take an oath to follow Him and serve Him in response to His bountiful grace. There are many stages in my life with different ups and downs, but I am deeply moved by two events in particular, which were the turning points in my life.

　　The first event was about the end of the world. Soon after coming to Christ, I had the opportunity to study the book of Revelation in the church’s Sunday School lessons. From the teacher’s teaching, I came to know God’s revelation to humans, what the end of the world was like, and that Jesus Christ would come again to put an end to human history, making a new heaven and a new earth. The book warned us to take the time to repent and turn our lives around to regain the love that has been lost. At that time, as one who had just come to the Christian faith and had been warned of the end of the world, I was determined to be baptized into the church and to learn to treasure life and serve the Lord.

　　The second event was about the end of a human life. Six years ago, my father passed away due to an illness. This was an intense experience for me—of being so close to death. It took my father just forty days to go from being ill to death. As a result, I suffered a violent change in my emotional wellbeing. Nevertheless, God had pity on me by granting His love as my father was willing to accept Christ soon after his illness, abandoning the idols he worshipped all his life and showing an inner peace. My mother also came to Christ soon afterwards. As a Christian, with a close family member passing away, I knew intellectually that I should have peace. However, I experienced a strong, lingering feeling of loss, making me feel anxious and sorrowful. I did not know how to deal with the sorrow of my family.

The End Became a Beginning

　　Thank God that His comfort helped me to gradually regain my strength and that He awakened me to once again think about the questions of life and faith. For example: How does God exist? What actually is a human soul? What is humankind? What is eternal life? These are all old questions but in my new exploration, God led me to rediscover God Himself. In the year following my father’s death, I began to take HKBTS’s Christian Studies Program (majoring in care and counseling ministry), which was offered by the Lay Theological Education Department. While I worked in a para-church organization during the day, I took the program during the evening in order to find the answers to the questions mentioned above. I also studied hard in order to become better and more effective at serving the church, and helping brothers and sisters in need.

　　Just when I thought that my student lifestyle of staying up at nights studying for the last five years was ending, unexpectedly, it turned into another beginning. In a lesson last year, I realized that the church’s caring work embodies the presence of Jesus Christ. In such a ministry, we can care about the needs of the souls of people by listening to their stories. While on the other hand, the program enables us to listen to the word of God by organizing and learning from our past experiences and thus we are guided to mature and grow in the Lord. I realized further that this transformation could only be fulfilled by the word of God and the gospel of Christ. From then on, there was an inner cry that urged me to share the grace of salvation I had received with others and to help shoulder the burdens of others.

God’s Call Is Like Light Drizzle

　　God did not cry out loudly to me. Instead, I found God’s voice to be like a light drizzle which persistently embraced my soul and stirred my heart. Last July, God’s voice came to me once again through the subject, the ministry of visitation, and it urged me to bring the love of God into people’s families and their hearts. Having received the call of God repeatedly, I was certain that this was no ordinary voice. On the one hand, I thought that I had heard enough, and yet I felt very timid and did not dare take any step forward.

　　My inner struggles did not end there. However, I shared my burdens with different pastors and listened to their suggestions. Facing the possibility of consecrating myself to become a pastor, I looked back over my own life and counted God’s blessings, considering my choices and waiting prayerfully for half a year. During this time, I had many inner struggles. Whenever I thought of my own limitations—my gifts and abilities, I felt lacking. (I later realized that this was silly because I had not yet been trained, how could I already have the power to serve God from the very beginning?)

A Sincere Testimony in a Rural Accent

　　During the cold December that year, God enabled me to affirm and respond to His call. At that time, I had gone to Mainland China for a week to act as a witness for the Lord. On the last morning, God wondrously spoke to me through a local pastor’s testimony. While this pastor joyfully recounted his life story and ministry experiences in his rural accent, he kept wiping the tears that continually rolled from his eyes. He spoke about how he had been called by God and testified to the risen Lord who had been with him all along life’s road, which was full of hardships. Yet, there has been abundant grace for him. Therefore, there was nothing that he had to be afraid of.

　　His simple, rural accent and the lines of tears on his face greatly moved me. His earnest, truthful testimony showed me how God watched over and encouraged His faithful servants, who counted on Him with a pure faith. I was amazed at God’s call and at the glory of being able to be working together with God.

　　It is in this way that God helped me respond to His call to consecrate myself to serve Him all my life through this servant’s testimony. Indeed, the path of ministry is by no means easy to walk on but I will learn to trust and obey Him. The pastor witnessing God’s abundant grace and love before me had become my mentor who made me understand that since I had been called by God to accept the ministry duty, I should not lose heart. In fact, we now have this light shining in our hearts, even though we ourselves are like fragile earthen vessels containing this great treasure. This makes it clear to me that “our great power is from God, not from ourselves” (2 Cor 4:7)

Treasure in an Earthen Vessel

　　But we have this treasure in our earthen vessels, which allows the surpassing greatness of the power of God to emerge; while we may be afflicted in many ways, we won’t be crushed; while we may be perplexed, we won’t be despairing. It is just as the apostle Paul said, “We have this treasure in this earthen vessel to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.” God admonished me not to retreat due to my own insecurities but to instead turn and rely on the power of God for what is admirable is not the earthen vessel itself but the treasure in the vessel.

　　Thank God that He stirred the heart of my husband who in turn gave me support. For me, having my life-long partner walking alongside me has been indispensable. The support of the church’s pastor and the board of deacons was also an important confirmation from God. Not only did God lead me step-by-step, but I also saw Him empower me with the gifts of music and compassion. He kept molding and helping me, who was weak and lowly, to be His usable vessel. After seeking and waiting for God’s will for half a year (with an additional two-month cooling-off period), I no longer hesitated and determined to walk on the path of consecration.

　　On life’s road we all will experience separations and partings—through death or many kinds of labor and sorrow—but the example of Christ’s suffering encourages us not to become discouraged or retreat. Because of the glory of being with the Lord in the future, we will not lose faith or hope today. I thank God for turning an end into a beginning and for the opportunity to continue to become equipped to serve Him. I pray that He will bless and lead us—this group of seminary students—in our studies. Glory be to God!