The Community That Brings Healing to Life

Spiritual sojourners (first from right is Kar-lo)

HKBTS Has Become My Spiritual Home

　　I still remember that at the time I came to study at HKBTS, it was with fear and trembling that I joined the orientation for new students. I soon began to worry about joining a camp with a large group of strangers. What was more threatening was that it was a spiritual formation camp. I was extremely reluctant to go. Then, before the camp, President Cho spoke in the chapel to all the new students. He urged us to consider HKBTS to be our second spiritual home. Even though both the Seminary and those around me still seemed to be new and strange to me, I suddenly knew it was a safe place where I would be accepted. At that moment, my heart was touched and warmed by President Cho’s words. To someone like me who had been wandering abroad for a few years, a spiritual home was exactly what I was thirsting for at that time. Now as I recall all my days of study, I must say HKBTS is not only a place that has built me up, but it has also become my spiritual home.

　　Before studying in HKBTS, I often heard people around me say how hard it was to study in a seminary and how busy seminary students always were. It was not until I was really studying here when I began to feel the pressure others had so often complained about. In the early days of studying here, I began to feel that there was a rather wide gap between the actual study life and what I had imagined. Moreover, there was seemingly an endless stream of class assignments. I was tempted to throw up my hands and quit. However, my senior schoolmates kept on encouraging me to stay. They shared with me how they too found the path hard but had managed to survive.

　　After studying for a year in much confusion, I began to draw on my past of God’s abundant grace. Sometimes I thought that I had no strength to continue but I soon discovered that God had already carried me through. “Your strength will equal your days.” I came to realize that it was God who led me to study in the Seminary and I could trust Him to provide me sufficient strength and wisdom to manage. I have been able to reclaim my faith to deal with my discouragement. Under God’s leadership, I have managed to complete three years of study.

An Impressive Experience: The Demolition and Reconstruction of Life

　　To me, in these three years, the experience that impresses me most is the demolition and reconstruction of my life. In the past, I had worked in a full time ministry post. Because of this, I often felt that my state of mind was utterly different from fellow students. At first, I had few expectations. This was because I had left my ministry field with hurt and brokenness. I longed to find in the seminary a place to take a rest and to experience God’s healing. I needed to allow God to re-organize my life and put me back on the road again.

　　Now as I look back, I realized it was God who was encouraging and keeping me through the teachers and fellow students who stood by me. God also reminds me of something significant through a picture. In my first year at the spiritual formation camp, I was walking back to the camp site after a time of silent meditation. At that moment God showed me clearly that I was not alone. In fact He made it known to me that He had called many of His sons and daughters to walk beside me. Soon after I began to study in the Seminary, I had no idea why my senior fellow students were showing me a particular concern. They often offered me help and encouragement through many small but practical deeds. I see now how God was using the kind deeds of this group of small angels to show me I was loved and cared for.

A Life-Healing Community

　　When I began studying in the Seminary, one of my deepest hopes was to find spiritual sojourners. I am grateful to God that He did in fact prepare such spiritual friends for me. In my class, I found many good fellow students and friends. In this community of love, I had the courage to open up to them my wounds and scars, past failures and dark corners of my life. It was through their faithful presence, listening, sharing, and encouragement that my wounds were bound up so they could be healed. It was this kind of strength of love that allowed me to renew my strength and faith in the Lord. I really need much healing and renewal to run the race on the path of ministry ahead.

　　I come to experience first hand that HKBTS is a disciple community that is a life-healing community. Through the mutual love within this community, God has allowed us to experience healing of our souls little by little and to move beyond our past brokenness with hope and courage. We can then begin to see ourselves, our lives and our ministry again from God’s perspective!

His Thoughts Are Higher Than My Thoughts

　　God also uses many small life episodes to instruct me in the lessons of life. I remember that time when I was about to have my church practicum. I was depressed not to have been assigned any practicum for that summer. Then I voiced this out in my practicum small group. The responses from the fellow students and supervisor greatly encouraged me, reminding me that every experience in life can be seen within the bigger framework of God’s will. He will teach me different lessons. When I was waiting to be assigned a church practicum that summer, I came to realize that it was God who was preparing this experience especially for me. It was He who would intervene into my life and ministry. Having gained this understanding I could do nothing but pray, asking God to lead me forward on the way ahead.

　　I continued to plan and reckon in many ways but to no avail. To my pleasant surprise, it was finally decided that I would have my practicum back to my own mother church. There had been a time when my church was without a pastor and at that particular time, a new pastor had been appointed and had just assumed office. It was all in God’s good time. This was the most timely arrangement for me and for my church. In this small but amazing experience, God has once again allowed me to see that His way is higher than my way and his thoughts are higher than my thoughts. After a long wait, I saw clearly that what is most important is not man’s reckoning but God’s leading. I am thankful to the Lord for casting away my hurts, doubts, and for strengthening my faith through this experience.

　　Praise the Lord to work in me, a weak and unworthy person! It is His grace that has caused my life to be renewed and changed. It is also His grace, which has caused me to determine to be His servant all my life!