Piercing through Thorns

Full Time Ministry Seems Too Far Away

　　I came to Christ one year before my university graduation. In retrospect, I must say I had a great passion for Christ in my personal devotional, attending Sunday School and getting involved in evangelism. One day in my home, I prayed, “O God! I am willing to serve you full time in the future!” At that moment, I was sure that God had listened to my prayer.

　　After graduating from the university, I became a secondary school teacher. One day, a minister asked me whether I would consider studying in a seminary. After a moment’s pause, I replied, “Maybe seven years later!” He did not saying anything more, but from the expression in his eyes I could tell he did not believe what I had said.

　　Seven years later, I was promoted and further promoted, and I then got married. Since I was focused with all my heart and mind on my work and family life, all thoughts about full time ministry had long been forgotten. Following my daughter’s birth, all my thoughts were concentrated on her. A prosperous career and a family of love and happiness completely colored the portrait of my life at that time. However, the spiritual condition of my life had been on a steady decline. As the size of our former church was rather small, the pastor would not consider setting up a ministry for children. Taking into consideration our daughter’s spiritual growth in the future, we decided to join a big church near to our residence. My church ministry then came to a stop. Once in a while when I heard preachers sharing message about full time ministry, I would recall my former promise to God. Then as I considered my life situation at that time, the thought of taking up full time ministry only seemed a remote possibility. Still, God had never forgotten. He simply waited silently.

God Changed the Hearts of the Whole Family

　　In the twinkle of an eye I was 40, and God was beginning to change my view of life. Once I talked with the school principal, and this spiritual elder recommended that I read Half Time which talks about life as a football match that can be divided into two halves. In the first half, men work hard in pursuit of fame and wealth. During the intermission, it is time to think carefully and develop a strategy for the second half of one’s life. The author contends that whether we win or lose in the first half, there can be a great change in the second half, and we should pursue a life of glory in God’s eyes. This book changed the way I looked at life and I became more devoted to church life. Yet, when I considered my wife and my daughter, I realized I did not yet have the courage to face the challenge of “full time ministry.”

　　Two years ago, my wife was inflicted with a life-threatening illness requiring that she temporary take sick leave from her teaching career. To console her, I promised to shoulder the family’s financial burdens and took good care of her. Therefore, the emerging thought of full time ministry was once again suppressed. But God’s grace is beyond our imagination. He not only allowed my wife to recover smoothly but also led her to become all the more devoted to church life during her rehabilitation period. Her sickness made a deep impression on her life. Later she fully recovered and continued with her teaching career. When I mentioned my vow to serve God full time, she not only fully supported me, but she also encouraged me to log on the Internet to search for seminary information, showing even greater enthusiasm than I. She said, “If you formerly asked me, I would certainly object, but now I have a new understanding: a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions but rather in his obedience to God.” This was what I could never have imagined! God changed not only me, but also my wife.

　　Besides, I was also worried that my daughter would not agree with my decision to quit my job and for fear that she would then ask me, “Once you resign, what about the family’s finance? Can you still afford to support me in my further studies?” However, as my daughter was growing up, she was more devoted to church life, joining more ministries and having a deeper understanding of the Christian faith. When my wife and I talked with her, contrary to our expectation she eagerly accepted our decision and that relieved us greatly. I believed God blessed my family once again as He first changed me and then, my wife and my daughter!

To Rely on God with a Limited Amount of Money

　　Although I got support from my family, the family’s finance still worried me as I really hoped to secure enough money before studying in a seminary. The irony was that the more I relied on my own way to earn more money through investment, the greater the loss. The recent financial storm blew away quite a lot of my possessions and yet the whole thing made me learn one important truth: even though we keep working hard up to age 70, assuming to have saved up enough for future use, there is no guarantee that we will not lose much of it at 71! There is not a time when we can say we have enough money, so we should not count on worldly treasure. I believe it is the truth that God wants both my wife and me to understand and to learn to rely on God even with only a limited amount of money.

　　Although God kept paving the way by changing the thoughts of our family, my faith was still weak and hesitated to apply for seminary study. Thank God that He once again paved the way. When my wife urged me to consult the church pastor, the church resumed the Fellowship for Those Called by God after it had been suspended for more than ten years. That allowed those brothers and sisters who wanted to consecrate themselves to God could gather together to share and encourage one another and seek the pastor’s advice. This was precisely a very “incidental” opportunity! In fact I had no idea about those questions like how to apply for seminary study, what to study or study for how many years. Fortunately, the Fellowship for Those Called by God helped answer these questions. It was through this fellowship that I came to know that HKBTS would conduct a student recruitment seminar and so I quickly applied.

　　This seminar was a great help to me. As I listened to other people’s sharing, I conjured up a picture in my mind of many past life episodes that helped me recollect God’s grace in my life and His calling to me. I still remember one sister reminding me: in face of God’s call, there are two choices: “one is to submit to God; one is not to submit to God.” I responded in my heart: “O God, I love you and I am willing to submit to you!”

A Good Farmer Who Pierces Thorns

　　Even when I was clear about God’s call, I still had quite a lot of worries regarding applying for seminary study, and I even considered postponing my application for one year so that I could better prepare myself. For example, I worried about how I could manage my future family life. Even though my wife was very busy from Monday through Friday, she could take a rest on Saturday, Sunday and long holidays, but those days are the busiest ones for church ministers. How could we mutually adjust our schedules in the future? Then something happened when we were taking a sightseeing trip to Overseas Chinese Town in Shenzhen. We were surprised to come across my wife’s secondary school classmate who was also a secondary school teacher while her husband was coincidentally a church minister. What a match for both of us! That evening we had a joyful sharing and their experience promptly gave answers to reduce much of our worries. This incident tells me that what we consider to be worries are in fact no worries at all. In my case they were just my excuses to postpone beginning seminary studies.

　　I believe the events described above were not coincidences but the acts of God, helping me cast away worries and affirm my resolution. For the grace and calling of God, I decided to apply for seminary study, hoping to have holistic training and proper nurture as good preparation for the future service to God.

　　Jesus used the parable of the sower to teach us a valuable lesson. In Matthew 13:7, it says, “Other seeds fell upon thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked them.” If I am the seed being choked by thorns, God is the farmer who pierces the thorns! God has manifested His greatest grace in me, and it is my firm hope that I can bring His grace to a lot of other people.