For the Sake of God’s Grace, How Can I Be Afraid of Advancing?

　　“… The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.” (Luke 10:2)

　　“Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, ‘Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?’ And I said, ‘Here am I. Send me!’” (Isaiah 6:8)

What does consecrate one’s life to do with me?

　　I came to Christ in October 2000. Two years later I was baptized and God’s grace that I had during that period was abundant. At that time I was studying nursing in the university and had no idea of becoming a minister. To be a nurse had been my goal since I was a child; therefore, with all my heart I wanted to be a Christian nurse expressing God’s love as I served patients. Every year, I attended the spiritual renewal meetings or consecration meetings held by my church or by Campus Crusade for Christ. When I saw that many brothers and sisters raising their hands in response to God’s call to be full time Christian workers, I would always be deeply touched. Yet, for a long time, I had not resolved to consecrate my life to God.

　　Two and a half years after coming to Christ, I began my church ministry by becoming a tutor in the Children’s Church and serving in a Christian fellowship group. After graduating from the School of Nursing in 2004, I began my nursing career in the Prince of Wales Hospital. In early 2005, I joined the church’s ministry in the Swatow region. My lack of training in the Bible prompted me to take a certificate program in theological training for lay Christians to study the Word of God. The program not only enriched my understanding of the Christian faith but also drew me closer to God as I came to a better understanding of God’s power and attributes. In the spiritual renewal meeting held in May of the following year, I clearly heard the voice of God asking me, “Are you willing to see people drowning in the sea of fire? Are you willing to seek lost souls for me?” I was shocked and disturbed by these questions. When the pastor made the invitation call, I felt the Holy Spirit’s strong urge and I finally summoned up the courage to raise my hand. I was then ready to let God use me all my life.

Memorable Experiences in Short Term Mission Trip to Burma

　　In November that year, I joined the short term medical mission trip to Burma for thirteen days. God allowed me to see two memorable scenes during that trip: When we set out on a prayer walk to pray for the well-being of the Burmese people, I saw a vast field of harvest. Immediately a scriptural verse came to my mind: “… The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field” (Luke 10:2). The second scene occurred after the prayer walk as I was walking back to the local church. I came across a group of farmers who were tired and weary after a day’s work. Again another scriptural passage popped into my mind: “Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, ‘The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field’” (Matthew 10:35-38).

　　During our medical ministry in Burma, we had the opportunity to serve the people with a group of Burmese young people. They exhibited a passion for God, for life and for spreading the gospel of Christ. Many were willing to consecrate their lives completely to God while they were still young. Their hearts of passion really touched me deeply. During this short-term mission, as I reflected on the two scenes I had witnessed, I was impressed with the dedication to God of the young Burmese Christians and the Holy Spirit’s guidance in the evangelistic process. I found that I had a passion for the lives of the people who came to Christ. All these experiences led me to consider the question: “What does God want me to learn?” I took this question to heart and quietly and prayerfully waited for God’s guidance.

Two Scenes That Touched My Heart

　　Knowing that my employment contract would expire by July 2007, I once again asked God, “Oh Lord! What is your will for me?” I knew that it would take time for me to deal with the loss of income and my family responsibilities and that I also needed to prepare myself spiritually. I decided it was best to sign a one year contract. I then boldly prayed to God, “If you would call me to enter a seminary, please give me clear indication. Then I will set forth by faith on the road of consecration.”

　　For more than half a year I had been seeking God’s will. During that time, God let me see my inner struggles and helped me determine my priorities. I had rich opportunities to care for new Christians and to help them in their spiritual growth. In Northern Thailand and the Swatow region, I have cared for new Christians and have helped them mature. Through these ministries, it became clear to me that I have a heart for lost souls. Seeing how these souls thirst for God, I have earnestly sought to share with them that only Jesus can save them and give them peace and joy. More importantly, I tell them that Jesus enables them to be at peace with God who longs to give them abundant life.

　　There were two scenes that touched my heart deeply, causing tears to come to my eyes. On the medical mission tour in northern Thailand, I saw many people tormented by illness. They did not know Jesus and even rejected him when they heard the gospel. My heart was filled with sadness and pain for these lost souls. Besides, when we were ministering in the Swatow region, a group of young people taught us to sing a praise hymn. I saw a beautiful picture: People from every nation and every race are assembled to sing praises to God in the morning, exalting Christ and manifesting the glory of his kingdom. At that time, a scripture verse popped up in my mind: “Then I heard the voice of the Lord asking me, ‘Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?’ And I said, ‘Here am I. Send me!’” (Isaiah 6:8). “O Lord! I am willing to respond to your call as did Isaiah: Here am I. Send me!” I prayed.

　　When I seriously considered whether I would apply to enter a seminary in 2008, three patients in my ward died in quick succession, taking me by surprise and reminding me that the days of our lives are fleeting and unpredictable! Just as I was distressed for these people’s souls, I prayed earnestly before God and was then determined to take a step forward by faith. For the rest of my life, I would strive to save lost souls and be faithful to the kingdom of God for as long as I live.

For All the Grace of God, How Can I Cease from Advancing?

　　However, as soon as I faced my own spiritual weakness, the resistance and difficulties in my family and in my economic situation, I checked myself from advancing. For this I prayed fervently and waited in anticipation for God’s guidance.

　　Just when I considered myself to be unfit to be God’s servant, God encouraged me on three different occasions with the same scripture verse: “But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.’” (1 Samuel 16:7) God helped me to let go of my worries. Although I had often judged a man according to his appearance, God reminded me with scriptures that he chooses his servants by their hearts.

　　Facing God’s call, how could I be afraid of advancing? Nevertheless, I still boldly asked God for affirmation that it was the right time for me to step onto the road of consecration. I was grateful to God for leading me to experience his great power. When it came to the time to apply for seminary study, I struggled what to say to my parents. One day, I went to my church’s sanctuary to pray especially about this, to be silent before God and to pray, asking him to give me the right words to win my parents’ understanding and support. One evening several days later when I still did not know what to say to them, my mother said something that encouraged me to speak up about my decision. It was beyond my expectation that my parents did not oppose at all but only told me to study hard at the seminary! Having their moral support and economic help, I would have no problems. All I needed to do was to entrust myself completely to God by faith.

　　Jesus says, “…If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me” (Luke 9:23). I am willing to respond to God’s call when I am still young, I am committed to preparing myself in theology, in the Scriptures, in the practice of pastoral ministry and missions, and in my spiritual qualities and meanwhile I am sure God will keep shaping me.