Speak, for Your Servant Is Listening

Taking the first step forward

　　“The Lord came and stood there, calling as at the other times, ‘Samuel! Samuel!’ Then Samuel said, ‘Speak, for your servant is listening.’” (1 Sm 3:10) Many years ago when I heard my church pastor preaching on this experience of Samuel, I said to myself: If God were to call me, I would gladly reply in the same way, “I am here. Speak, for your servant is listening!” Until this day, that incident continues to have a deep impression on my heart. I am sure that God has planted the seed of “I do” in my life since then.

　　I came to Christ in 1991. A year later, I began attending the Shamshuipo Alliance Church where I have continued to worship for the past fifteen years. In 1994, I was baptized and began my ministry in the children’s worship service. Over the past ten years, God has continued to call me to serve him in many ways. As I focused on my family and work, I just responded God with an “I do” from the heart but without taking any practical action. It was not until my church’s Missions Sunday in 2002 that I took the first step forward to become a full time minister.

　　A Missions Sunday is held every year in my church. When the “Missions Sunday 2002” came to a close, every one was invited to fill out a form. One of the choices stated: “I am willing to serve God full time, to be a missionary.” At that time, I picked this choice without any hesitation as I spoke to myself: If God would use me, is there any reason to reject Him? Then, I shared my decision with my wife who encouraged me to respond to God with some practical action to verify whether it was really God’s work in my heart. Meanwhile, members of the church’s Missions Department approached me to express their concern about my decision. Soon I joined the Consecration Group in the hope that I could share and keep watch with like-minded fellows at church.

Jesus took the initiative to find his disciples

　　In September 2004, I was involved in an accident at work. I fell, was hospitalized, and could not walk for a period of time. During that time, I tried to evangelize my fellow patients, using the skills learned from Evangelism Explosion III and elsewhere. This experience made me understand more about hospital’s patients’ need for the gospel as I felt their struggles in life more deeply. I understood how they must long for real peace in their lives. Meanwhile, I further thought about two questions: Should I quit my teaching post, or should I choose a ministry in which I can directly preach the gospel of Christ?

　　Besides my ministry in children’s service, in recent years I also joined the church’s short term mission team to minister to the teachers of a mainland kindergarten and to reach out to factory workers in the same neighborhood. Through several such ministry opportunities, the Lord helped me see that I have a great concern for the lost souls.

　　Throughout these few years, this question remains in my heart: Why was it that on that Mission Sunday, only one other brother and I had showed a willingness to “serve God full time and be a missionary?” Should not every Christian choose to serve God as a matter of course? Why was it that only two persons made such a choice? Since that was the case, did it not indicate that God was calling me to serve Him full time? Thank God that He gave me a considerate wife and a brother studying in the seminary who gave me so much help. Both of them encouraged me to take one step further to respond to God in order to seek His will in my life. In March 2006, I joined a consecration camp organized by a local seminary. Prior to attending the camp, participants were asked to read two articles, one of which left a deep impression on my heart. The article mentioned that it is Jesus who takes the initiative to seek disciples. Therefore, if Jesus did not actively look for me, I would not be willing to follow Him. Thank God that He has solved my heart’s problem helping me understand the reason that I have a willing heart. It is simply because Jesus seeks me. Moreover, in the camp, I could see that there were not just a few whom Jesus sought but I found many such co-walkers. I no longer felt alone. Rather I had much peace in my heart.

The unwillingness to depart made me retreat instantly

　　In my family, my wife Ho-sze knew what was in my heart. Since I had consecrated my life to Jesus, she has continued to stand by my side at all times. Although there would be changes in our family finance as I study in the seminary, my wife has faith in God and encouraged me to take seriously God’s calling. The burden of my family would by no means be light, but then if I postponed studying in the seminary because our children were still small, then two or three years later, we would also find other excuses. Thank God that he helped me and my wife to have the same heart so that I could choose the path of full time ministry with greater strength.

　　Although I was not accepted by the first seminary that year, I was not discouraged or disheartened. I understood that perhaps there might be some parts in my life that were not yet well prepared. Therefore I continued to seek and wait, trusting that God would prepare an appropriate time for me.

　　On a Saturday evening in November 2006, in the evening party to celebrate my school’s fortieth anniversary, I had the opportunity to sing a song with a student and reflect on our friendship over the past few years. In an instant, many fond memories of campus life flood my mind. I thought that if I would study in the seminary, I would have to part from the school and my students. I could not help recalling the times I shared my faith with them as together we walked and grew over the years. Instantly my reluctance to part from them led me to think that if I continued to work at school, I could still minister to my students and share my faith with them. Such thoughts made me again doubt God’s calling once more.

Are there any more excuses to say ‘No’ to God’s calling?

　　I thank the Lord for he is faithful and truly knows my weaknesses. It was during the Sunday Service the next day that my pastor preached on chapter fourteen of the Gospel of Mark, describing how a woman poured a jar of very expensive perfume on Jesus’ head. This woman has offered all she had and seized the most appropriate moment to minister to Jesus, since after that, no one could ever anoint Him. My pastor kept asking us this question: “As you are a sinner who has been graciously redeemed, why can you not do an even greater work for God?” Every word the pastor said seemed to speak to me personally. In face of the Lord’s gentle calling and encouragement, my heart was being shaken, so that I could not stop the tears which rushed from my eyes. Could there be any excuses? Were there any more reasons to say ‘No’ to God’s calling? I had to make good use of my youth to offer what was most precious in my life to God.

　　In order to respond to God, I tried to know and understand more about seminaries in Hong Kong. As a result, upon my pastor’s recommendation, I chose to apply to study in HKBTS.

　　May 31, 2007 was a crucial day. That was the day when my wife Ho-sze had the opportunity of a second interview for a teaching post. She had always hoped to switch to a Christian school, one completely devoted to serving Christ the Lord, but so far there had not been such a good opportunity. The day when she had the second interview was also the last day that she could resign from the school where she was then teaching. Similarly, if I wanted to study in a seminary, that was also the last day to submit my resignation from my school. We had never imagined that on that very day, that very last day, I would receive my “admission notice” from HKBTS while my wife also would receive her appointment letter from the school where she most wanted to teach. I and Ho-sze excitedly exchanged our good news with tears of gratitude flowing copiously from our eyes. “Thank you, Lord.” His preparation is always the best and His timing is always right. While I studied in the Seminary, my wife would have to shoulder the family’s burden more than ever before. Now that the Lord has prepared her an ideal environment in which to work, my worries were greatly relieved. God’s grace and consideration truly touched my wife and me.

　　May God continue to consolidate our faith and guide my study and ministry in the days to come. Through each moment and in each phase of the journey ahead, may I be pleasingly and willingly respond to God when God speaks to me, “Your servant is listening!”