Do I Love My Lord with All My Strength, Soul and Mind?

White-clothed angels who accompanied me on the heavenly journey

　　I should offer my life as a sacrifice to God!

　　Thank God that after coming to Christ in 1985, I joined the Christian fellowship for nurses in Pok Oi Hospital, helping my spiritual life gradually grow there.

　　Having to do shift duty, I could not attend regular church worship services, and yet in the fellowship, there were a few veteran sister nurses who held my hand, cared for me and walked beside me on the heavenly journey. When we were on holiday, they would take me to a retreat camp, teaching me how to draw closer to God and read his Word. From their love, I saw their dedication to God; from their lives, I was able to see Christ who seeks no reciprocation but always gives. They made me aware that one who follows God can have such a good life, and I strengthened my resolve to follow him. Later, each of them went into different ministries: some becoming missionaries and some going on to further studies in a seminary. At that time, I really admired their courage to let go and let God. Still I did not yet have the faith to offer myself wholly to God and so was not ready to follow their footsteps on such a blessed path.

　　Nevertheless their commitment and ministry to God did encourage me to serve God diligently. Later on, I changed to a church situated near my house in order to have more time to draw closer to God. Through God’s blessings, I became a member of the working committee in the youth fellowship, learned to serve God in the fellowship and two years later, was elected chairperson. As I went through different ministry experiences, I came to learn how horrible human sinfulness can be. No one doubts that non-Christians are living in sin, but some of those living in Christ can also hurt one another, living according to their selfish desires and sinning unknowingly. Having come to know such human weakness, I realized how precious it is for Jesus Christ to die on the cross for us sinners and how much we need his redemption. Only with Christ can our lives be made whole. It was through these ministries that I got a taste of how life should be nurtured. I realized all the more the greatness of our Lord Jesus’ love.

Pass on the glow of God’s love Let God’s love be extended

　　In 1995 I prayed to God for the opportunity to study further in order to serve my patients with better nursing skills and medical knowledge. I had to thank God that a year later I was admitted to study in the 3 years’ pre-registration nursing program in Yan Chai Hospital. I was among the final five to be admitted from among 138 applicants. Besides, on the day of the job interview, God protected me, allowing me to arrive safely even though a landslide had caused the Tuen Mun Highway to be closed. However, God allowed me to travel and return home unaffected by the accident. Otherwise I could have missed the interview and the opportunity for further studies. As a result, I was admitted to the pre-registration nursing program and began working in Tai Po Hospital after graduation.

　　At that time, Tai Po Hospital did not have a Christian fellowship for nurses. I was sad to observe that many of the Christian nurses I knew at work did not have regular church life and so their relationship with God was distant and alienated. Some even indulged in a secular life style too much like that of the non-Christians nurses. In my heart, I had a strong sense of mission and longed to be of use to God to pass on the torch of his love. In the past, in Pok Oi Hospital’s Christian fellowship, I had experienced God’s love so that my spiritual life had grown, and on a certain day, God put a burden in my heart to extend such love to another hospital.

　　Finally in 2003, God led several Christian nurses and me to form the Tai Po Hospital’s Medical Ward Christian Fellowship for Nurses. I was elected chairperson ministering to Christian nurses within the hospital and seeking to spread the gospel of Christ to non-Christian colleagues. I worked hard at this post, but I often felt weak because I was busy at work everyday and I had had no formal Christian ministry training. I always felt that I failed to do my best in fulfilling the mission entrusted to me by God.

A calling from God in the evening hour

　　In the twinkling of an eye, I had been a nurse for over twenty years. I loved my work and everyday I busily ministered to one patient after another. I witnessed their lives as they went through the cycle of birth, growth, old age, sickness and death. I realized that only Jesus Christ can offer redemption from sin. I gladly accompanied each of the patients on the journey of life but often felt regret. I never had the time and opportunity to share with them where they would go after death, and perhaps many of them feared they could then walk toward eternal death. As a subject of the heavenly kingdom, what could I do for them? My duty as a nurse could only help to take care of their bodily needs, but what about the redemption of their souls? God’s special favor to me always reminded me of his love to me, but as I have been busily working day in and day out, what is the significance of such a life to the kingdom of God?

　　One evening about five years ago when I was walking from Tai Po Hospital to Tai Po Center to have supper, I passed by Alice Ho Miu Ling Nethersole Hospital. I gazed at the upper level of the hospital building and I heard a voice speaking to me: “You will have to bring these people who are ill and sick to me.” I felt it strange in my heart and asked myself: Why did God say this to me? I felt a bit frightened and nervous but then I kept these words in my heart. After several months’ prayer and thoughts, I felt the desire to dedicate myself to full time ministry grow stronger and stronger. Then I returned to my mother church at Sheung Shui and expressed my decision to my former pastor but he bluntly noted that I was not suitable to be a minister. He did not clearly elaborate on the reasons why he said so and I did not pursue the subject with him. I felt hurt but I understood my need to reflect upon the condition of my spiritual life and seriously consider whether I was really willing to offer myself to serve God full time. And so I temporarily let go the thought of committing myself to full time ministry and began to closely examine my spiritual life before God.

What benefit does a life of comfort and stability bring to the kingdom of God?

　　In the past five years, I continued to commit myself to serve God in the hospital’s fellowship. Throughout this period, I spent much time asking God whether I should embark on full time ministry and waiting for his reply. There were times when I was so busy with my work and ministry that I put aside such thoughts. After five years, I felt that I should come face to face with God to seek the direction of my ministry again. I loved the sisters in the fellowship and we had no barrier as we always share almost everything, from our dating and marriage, happiness and sadness in our work, experiences of growth in ministry and our orientation in life. Thank God for allowing me to have had such rich experience, in fact I had determined to serve him in this ministry post. However, God has commanded us to “love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind…and the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself’” (Matthew 22:37, 39). As such, how then should I offer my best to God? Why do I not equip myself the best I could? Since I always felt weak and inadequate in my ministry, why did I not concentrate on preparing myself for ministry?

　　The kingdom of God demands that more workers offer themselves to God and fully commit themselves to ministry. My present working environment is very stable economically and my working conditions are satisfactory. In fact, I do not have to worry about my life. What is more, I have a group of colleagues with whom I continue to get along well, and we all work hard unreservedly together. I would really miss them! But then if I continue enjoying myself in this comfort zone, what benefit does it bring to the kingdom of God? When I come to meet God face to face, can I say that I love him with all my heart, soul and mind?

He is the very best blessing I choose to have

　　I remember a few years ago when I resolved to serve God full time, God allowed my former church pastor to thwart me. At that time, I chose full time ministry partly because of my response to God’s calling and partly because I was fed up at work, unable to get along well with my colleagues. I hoped to move to a new environment to find a way out and to look for the meaning in life. But God has his good will for us and does not want us to choose him only when we are down and discontent at work but wants us to choose him at the time when everyone assumes that I am having a wonderful time instead – He must not be my very last choice since he is my very best blessing. What a great blessing it is to be able to walk on God’s path.

　　I must thank God for everything in my life, especially for my husband, Kam-hing, who also loves God with all his heart. He had endured much hardship as we have faithfully walked along God’s path. He gave up his career in the insurance business and resolved to serve God full time and went on to apply to study in the Seminary. He had been praying for God’s guidance to move in this direction for years and was forced to wait because his mother was afflicted with cancer and there were also some other difficult reasons. Despite all these difficulties and twists and turns, his passion to serve God without yielding remained strong and I was moved by his authentic commitment. I am one who has been blessed and redeemed and has fully tasted God’s many blessings. In many stages of my life, God has sent different angels to minister to me, care for me so that my spiritual life has grown. What can I give to repay God for his love to me? In the past I went my own way for quite a good distance; how many days do I still have when I can fully dedicate myself to serve God? It is needless to say that one day, that may be very soon, the Lord will come back but none knows when that day will come.

　　In the past I was satisfied with my working and living conditions, not hoping for any change. But God’s love continued to drive and call me so that I once again resolve to offer up myself to God and no longer try to avoid God’s calling. Even though I was once worried about the family’s financial pressure as both my husband and I have decided to study in the Seminary and as we have not yet managed to sell the flat where we lived earlier, I now respond to God’s call with joy and submit to his guidance. Maybe Kam-hing and I will supplement each other in our ministry later, or maybe I will go back to serve within the medical profession, the community that I have known so well and miss so much. No matter what the future holds, I am willing to offer up myself to God and glorify him all my life.