How Can I Not Live for the Lord?

Mandy and her husband Allen

Trial and Error: In Search of My Calling

　　In 2010, before I had come to faith in Christ, my grandmother fell into a coma due to heart disease. A close friend who believed in the Lord led me in prayer. During that prayer, I felt an inexplicable peace come over me. God answered my prayers, and my grandmother regained consciousness after surgery. Therefore, during a gospel camp held by my secondary school, I made a decision to follow Christ and actively participated in church activities. Later, God led me to serve through music, becoming the pianist for both my fellowship and the church. Initially, I simply wanted to offer my musical talent to God. Yet through serving, I gradually came to understand that music can touch people’s hearts and convey God’s Word.

　　In 2014, at a Bible conference, I felt called to serve within Hong Kong’s healthcare system as a nurse, saving the lives of the sick. Subsequently, I enrolled in the nursing program at a university. However, during my clinical practicum in the first year, witnessing the passing away of a patient I had cared for led me to ask myself: “Did she [the patient] truly find rest after her passing away?” That profound sense of helplessness pierced me deeply.

　　In 2018, unable to bear the pressure of the education at the nursing school, I resolutely transferred to the Faculty of Arts to study cultural studies. This change left me feeling weak and inferior, as if I had failed to fulfill God’s calling for me to become a nurse. To meet graduation requirements, I barely socialized, focusing solely on my studies. At that time, I felt that my heart was filled with resentment, asking myself, “Why am I such a failure?” My faith gradually became stifled. Yet, through the philosophy course in the university’s general education, God prompted me to rethink my situation; I realized that no matter how profound those thoughts may seem, human wisdom pales in comparison to God’s. Only one voice echoed in my heart: I longed to further know this one true God.

　　After graduation, I worked as a teacher at an educational institution, guiding students through public examinations while sharing with them how God had led me. Their academic achievements and personal growth brought me satisfaction, even leading me to believe this was another calling from God. Yet, every time I stepped out of the classroom, a lingering sense of emptiness and powerlessness remained. I kept asking myself: “Have my students truly found the direction of life?”

God Makes a Way That I Follow Wholeheartedly

　　It was not until 2023, when God placed me as an intern group shepherd in the church, that I truly grasped the weight of pastoral care. During one Bible study session, a realization struck me: “If I have no words from God in my mouth, how can I shepherd the flock?” In that moment, I realized that shepherding relies not on experience or skill but on relying on God’s Word as its foundation. Recognizing my inadequacy marked the moment God began His work in me. Then I enrolled in training courses, attended prayer meetings, and relearned how to follow God’s will.

　　In March 2025, during a Theological Education Sunday service, God called me through John 21:15, repeatedly asking me, “Do you love me more than these?” These words deeply moved me. After a discussion with my pastor, I confirmed my resolve to dedicate myself full-time to God and enrolled at the Hong Kong Baptist Theological Seminary. God also confirmed this calling—my non-Christian parents fully supported me, and my mother even attended my opening convocation ceremony, showing me that God had given me all the “green lights.”

　　Today, I enter the seminary with a resolute and clear purpose. God has placed two passions on my heart: First, young people—especially secondary school students who face many inner struggles. I long to walk alongside them, guiding them to discover that Jesus is their true anchor. Second, church unity—I see tension often arising from misunderstandings within the church. I desire to serve as a bridge between pastors and the congregation, fostering unity so the church may grow healthily.

　　I often ask myself, “What kind of pastor do I want to become?” I still have no answer. But when I consider God’s countless acts of grace toward me, how can I not live for Him? I desire to dedicate my entire life to revealing God’s work in me to others. I long for the seminary to equip me not only academically but also spiritually, so that I may become a worker who is faithful to the truth and devoted to shepherding. This is not because I have anything to boast about, but because I have received immense grace.

　　May God continue to use me, enabling me to serve Him faithfully throughout my life. May all glory be given to the God I love!