The Resilience of Life

God is beyond Our “Assumptions”

　　What did Martha and Mary need?

　　John 11 records the miracle of Lazarus’ resurrection. By the time Jesus and His disciples arrived in Bethany, Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days, and relatives and friends had gathered to offer their condolences. When Martha heard of Jesus’ coming, she hurried out of the village to meet Him. When Mary saw Jesus, she fell at His feet and wept, saying, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died.” These words echoed Martha’s earlier statement, expressing sorrow over what seemed to be Jesus’ “delayed arrival.”

　　Martha and Mary were convinced that Jesus could heal serious illnesses, though their understanding of resurrection was limited. They never imagined that Jesus could raise someone before the last day, even one who had been dead for four days and whose body had already begun to decay. They assumed there was a time limit to His power, believing healing was possible only if He had arrived “early,” and that “now” was already too late. In this way, their thinking reveals they perceived Jesus’ power to be restricted in this way.

　　However, Martha and Mary were familiar with the stories of resurrection. In the Old Testament, Elijah and Elisha raise the dead; in the New Testament, Jesus raises Jairus’ daughter and the widow’s son at Nain. As close friends of Jesus, they surely knew that He possessed power over death. However, when suffering struck their own family, in their grief, they fell into a negative mindset, believing that “delayed” meant “impossible” or “irreversible.” That is a very human response. Perhaps, in our own struggles, we too assume limits to God: “If only it happened sooner …” or “If only we had acted back then …” These thoughts often stem from certain “assumptions” we hold about God.

Fellowship and Resilience

　　Lazarus was miraculously raised from the dead, but after all, this event is an exception. In everyday life, most people must endure the long years that follow the loss of loved ones and seek ways to continue despite their grief.

　　The Socioemotional Selectivity Theory (SST) suggests that when individuals encounter major life events—such as a pandemic or natural disaster—their mindset may undergo a significant shift: they refocus on emotionally meaningful behaviors and tend to deepen ties with close friends and family. While this selective social pattern may appear to narrow one’s social circle, it actually enhances the quality and depth of emotional support. This dynamic closely parallels the experience of faith communities. A meaningful fellowship life is precisely what nourishes psychological resilience. When we go beyond superficial small talk and build genuine, heart-to-heart connections in church, this support system becomes our refuge in the storm of life.

Prayer and Resilience

　　A six-year longitudinal study of patients with chronic illnesses in the United States revealed a positive link between prayer and resilience. ^* After controlling for a range of variables, the study found that patients who engaged in daily private prayer had a significantly higher survival rate than those who prayed less frequently. Although the mechanism requires further investigation, researchers suggested that the “sense of hope” derived from prayer may play a key role. When believers consistently entrust matters beyond their control—such as illness—to God in prayer, this repeated affirmation and entrustment foster peace and consolation. Physiologically, such practices help lower stress hormone levels, thereby reducing negative health impacts. This reminds us that prayer is not only a spiritual discipline but also the foundation of holistic well-being. In prayer, we admit our own limits while simultaneously experiencing God’s infinite power and presence.

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing

　　In addition to fellowship and prayer, modern psychology has developed practical methods for fostering emotional resilience, such as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). If we talked about EMDR twenty years ago, it might be misunderstood, because during the therapy, the therapist moves his or her fingers back and forth in front of the patient’s eyes, somewhat like a ritual performed in folk religions. Yet its origins are simple: its founder, Francine Shapiro, was once taking a walk in the park when she accidentally discovered that as her eyes moved rhythmically from side to side, her negative emotions noticeably diminished. She subsequently conducted years of clinical trials, and this therapeutic approach has gradually gained recognition in the medical community. This offers us a practical insight: when you feel stuck in negative emotions—or even overwhelmed by grief, as Martha and Mary were—you might follow Shapiro’s example and take a walk in the park, allowing your eyes to move naturally from side to side as you observe the scenery. Such a simple act may help ease your emotions. (Of course, if distress becomes severe, seek professional medical or psychological counseling.)

　　The term “resilience” has gained significant attention in recent years and topped the list of buzzwords of 2025 in mainland China. This reflects the reality that many people are navigating uncertain external environments, experiencing anxiety and unease that may impact both their personal lives and collective cooperation. Deep down, we long to break free from circumstantial constraints and continue moving forward. Reflecting on the story of Lazarus, Martha, and Mary, we find a miracle beyond their imaginations. May we cultivate resilience in mind, body, and spirit through fellowship and personal prayer, finding strength in God together.

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^* Gail Ironson and Salman Shaheen Ahmad, “Frequency of Private Prayer Predicts Survival Over 6 Years in a Nationwide U.S. Sample of Individuals with a Chronic Illness,” Journal of Religion and Health 63.4 (August 2024): 2910-2923 [article online]; available from Springer Nature Link website (https: //doi.org/10.1007/s10943-023-01870-z); accessed 1 March 2026.