From Hunger for the Word to Life Transformation

　　It has been four years since I began school at Hong Kong Baptist Theological Seminary with a eager desire for God’s Word “as the deer pants for the water.” Thanks to God for letting me know about His Word, nourishing my life and transforming me! When I looked back on these years, it was like an adventurous journey, in which God’s providence and guidance filled the path.

Embarking on a Journey of “Faith Seeking Understanding”

　　Thanks to God’s grace that I could be a full-time housewife for some years, during that time I could manage to take care of my family as well as study theology according to my pace and time. The teachers are not merely transmitting knowledge but also passing on life and mission; I was thus intrigued to enter this journey of “faith seeking understanding.” Moreover, it was a precious opportunity to study with the M.Div. classmates; the interaction with them was a decent experience of the disciple community. Thanks to God’s guidance, in the past years, I rarely skipped classes due to accidents or sickness. I always learned with a grateful heart.

　　The requirement of the program I studied, however, was not easy. I had to face and solve quite a number of problems. Due to my personal limitations, and considering the needs of the family and balance in ministry, I often found my time, energy and ability wanting. Heavy loads of homework made me tired and depressed, and I also experienced amnesia-like distress in Hebrew and Greek quizzes. It is true that studying theology is somewhat tough and requires efforts, but this spiritual pursuit also brought me peace and joy; I found my faith solid and authentic.

Creating a Space for Understanding Faith

　　Thanks to God’s grace for letting me understand faith and experience life renewal. It dawned on me that learning is creating a space for understanding faith. Having been a Christian for over thirty years, I thought I know Jesus Christ; yet I was merely knowing something about Him. I thought I was passionate about God’s ministry and serving enthusiastically. It may however come out of responsibility and my commitment to the others’ needs, and all these are within my “comfort zone.” Nevertheless, while studying theology, I have gradually realized that the life of a servant is more significant than ministry itself. What God cherishes is my “being” instead of my “doing” and “possessing.” I now have a new understanding of what the essence of being a disciple of Christ is. I continue to think, to seek, to understand and to live out my faith with the aid of the Holy Spirit.

Life Renewed and Strengthened

　　I entered the seminary out of a desire for God’s Word; God, however, renewed my mind and healed my pain by this learning journey. My past ministry experience caused me to be doubtful and confused. What is “a good and faithful servant”? What does “fulfilling the will of God” mean? What is “glorifying the Lord”? Also, what is “gentle and meek,” and “submissive to God’s guidance”? For a period of time, my head was loaded with such questions, while finding that the church was unlike a church, the pastors failed as pastors, and old companions turned into strangers. I sorrowed, wailed and cried. I was tired, frail, disappointed and even swore that I would never take up full-time ministry in church.

　　Thanks to God, for His grace is sufficient for me, and His thoughts are higher than mine. He gave me comfort and strength in my hard time. I can still remember our teacher reminded us that believers might go through God’s tearing down and planting of life. There would be no life renewal without being torn down first. In these four years, I intensely experienced what serious study and understanding biblical truth are. God trained my heart and mind continually, shaped my character and asked me not to fight with flesh and blood. My doubts in the past do not bother me any more: I have learned to obey and trust Him. How can a human as creature fully understand the works of the Creator? God also encouraged me with His Word: “but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” (Is 40:31) No matter where I go, Yahweh my God will be there with me.

Universal Priesthood of All Believers

　　I received theological equipment not because I want to serve as a full-time pastor. However, as all believers are called to be priests, all that we learn could be used by the Lord. I wish to be a minister of God’s Word, and be His instrument for noble purposes in my living and services.

　　Lastly, thanks to the HKBTS program, and thanks to my teachers for their teaching and company. All are God’s grace. Let us encourage each other in our endeavors.